Christmas Vacation Highlights

- Won $3.52 in the family .05/.1 holiday poker game.

- Hung out with Brad.  Watched as he defended himself from a horny Black Labrador most of the night.

- Watched A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, and caught the last 10 minutes of Vegas Vacation.  I plan on taking a week and catching some old classics that I’ve missed, such as Vegas Vacation, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, etc.

- Played Catch Phrase with the aforementioned Brad and his family.  Guys vs. Girls – guys won 5-1.

Friends, family, and food – the only things required for a good vacation in my opinion.  Of course it’s worth mentioning that while away Mini (one of our 2 cats) left little Easter eggs of shit everywhere for April and I to find and dispose of when we got home.  Thanks, Min!  So glad we rescued you from the streets!!

Merry Christmas, Brad.

To be read from the bottom up, otherwise it won’t make a lot of sense.  Well, it might not make sense anyway.

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: K.C. Brawley <xxx>
Date: Tue, Dec 22, 2009 at 1:12 PM
Subject: Re: Everest Christmas Party
To: “Boyer, Brad” <xxx>

Two cards come in the mail.

To: Lance, a shining example of a beautiful human being.
From: Your proud Father

Dear Lance-the-Great,

How have you been?  I’ve been okay.  Just a little sad we won’t be seeing you for Christmas.  I was thinking about taking out a 2nd mortgage to fly you and 10 of your closest friends that aren’t your brother Brad to Mexico for a little get-away.  Let me know if this agrees with your schedule.

Love,
Dad

To: Bard
From: Da…  John.

Hey, you.  I know you wanted to see all of us for Christmas, but we had something come up.  You know how the holidays are.  Tons of stuff…  Always… Coming up…  Anyway, Lance figured it up and told us you owe your Step-mom $1,100.  He didn’t say why, but I’m pretty sure he’s right.  Have you seen how fast he does math in his head?  A guy that can do that shouldn’t be questioned.

But yeah, if you could send that money it would be great.  Christmas is tough.  Not a lot of spare money.  We just had to take out a 2nd mortgage on our house.  I’m not heartless, you can split it up into payments if that’s easier.  I’ll take $1,000 the first month and the $100 the next.

Thanks for understanding, Brock.

- John

On Tue, Dec 22, 2009 at 12:44 PM, Boyer, Brad <xxx> wrote:

Haha, it was more like this:

Dear Son (Still Debatable),

This year for Christmas, I thought I’d show love to those who I care about the most. That’s why I sent you this card. I was wondering, have you seen Lance lately? He hasn’t been answering my calls, and I have a bunch of extra money I wanted him to have. Also, I sent him a picture of him and Trixie together.  Damn, he sure did love that dog. Sometimes I wish Trixie was my child and you were my dog. Haha, all the good jokes we have between each other son (so claims the birth certificate)!!  Well, if you do happen to see my boy tell him I love him a lot and I still think “the other one” is a little bitch (don’t worry, he’ll know who I’m talking about). Anyway, catch you later Lance’s friend. You guys are great buds.

Pay your car payment,

John Ricky Boyer

Verizon Central Division District Manager

---

From: K.C. Brawley [mailto:xxx]
Sent: Tuesday, December 22, 2009 12:13 PM
To: Boyer, Brad
Subject: Re: Everest Christmas Party

Front of card: A litter of puppies suckling at their mother’s teet.  A runt struggles to get milk with a dejected look on his face.

Inside: “I know it’s tough living up to a brilliant son like Lance and a successful daughter like Jaysa, but I just want you to know:  according to a lot of people’s standards you’ve succeeded at life.  There are so many homeless people out there or people in jail, like sex offenders, that would kill (in some cases, again) to have your life.  By my standards you’re still a failure, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like you.  I mean, seriously.  I really like you.  A lot.

“I’m so relieved you didn’t end up worse off than you are now.  I like you son.  Always remember that.

“Like you,
“Dad.”

On Tue, Dec 22, 2009 at 11:21 AM, Boyer, Brad <xxx> wrote:

Funny, that last part is almost identical to the Christmas card I got from my dad this year.

---

From: K.C. Brawley [mailto:xxx@gmail.com]
Sent: Tuesday, December 22, 2009 10:26 AM
To: Boyer, Brad
Subject: Re: Everest Christmas Party

Yeah, it’s no big deal.  We can get them any time.  I just don’t like you.

(what?)